Missing You
by lilyofthevalley2
Summary: She took care of him. It's just the way it was. Sometimes he took care of her, but usually it was the other way around. But now he's got to shoulder his own responsibilities, and she can't do it for him. Shunsui x Nanao, includes character death.


Shunsui Kyouraku woke up to his wife shaking him gently. "Shunsui, it's time to wake up," she said softly.

"Eh, five more minutes, Nanao-chan?" he pleaded.

His eyes were still closed, but he could just _hear_ her rolling her eyes from the tone of her voice. "That's what you said ten minutes ago. I'm already up and dressed, you know."

"Well, we can't have that, can we," he said, grabbing her arm gently and pulling her into the bed with him. Her glasses bounced off his nose as he grinned at her irreverently, opening his eyes.

"You're going to muss my uniform," she complained, putting her glasses aside.

"I'm your husband! I get uniform-mussing privileges!" he said.

"Only if you pay me properly," she teased.

"Oh? How's that?" he asked.

"Like this," she suggested, pulling him into a deep kiss. Not that he minded at all, tucking his arms around her. He was disappointed when she pulled away.

"Are you sure I've paid my debt fully?" he asked.

She laughed—he loved her laugh, it was so rich and deep when she didn't try to hide it. "For now, Shunsui," she said.

He pulled her close, enjoying the feel of her body, the way she fit so comfortably by his side. "How'd you sleep last night?" he asked.

"Mm, not bad," Nanao said. "Hana-chan decided we should be awake at five this morning, though."

He put his hand gently on her abdomen, feeling the baby move around inside. It was so amazing...their daughter was inside! Their daughter! "She must take after you, then," he teased. "_I've_ never been up at five in my entire life!"

"That's just as well," Nanao retorted. "Since if she takes after you, I'll have no end of trouble."

"Mm, you're right about that." He gently reached out and ran his finger down her cheek. She smiled wryly and cuddled into him as he stroked her hair softly. It had taken a long time to finally convince her how much he really did love her, and even longer to get her to admit she loved him, too. But it had been well worth the wait—the last thirty years had been some of the happiest he'd ever spent. And in just a couple of weeks, they'd have a baby!

His clan had been _livid_, of course. They hadn't liked him when he was the prodigal second son to be shipped off to the Shinigami Academy just to have him out of the way. They'd liked him even less when his stuck-up older brother's line died out, leaving Shunsui as the heir and head of the household. (He'd seriously considered abdicating, but as Ukitake pointed out, that might have led to a civil war.) Marrying a woman from the Rukongai—and one with every possibility of producing an heir—the elders had collective apoplexy. It had been rather refreshing. Though he couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for his daughter-to-be for having to put up with the Kyouraku clan...

"What are you thinking about, Shunsui?" Nanao asked softly.

"I'm thinking about how excited my family will be to meet our little Hana-chan," he said wryly.

"Mmph," Nanao said. "As you always say, that's something that doesn't bear thinking about without the comfort of sake."

"But you can't drink right now, Nanao-chan," he protested.

"That would be my point."

He chuckled, still reluctant to move. "So, what do we have on the schedule for today, Nanao-chan?"

"There's the weekly inspection first thing this morning, followed by a captain's meeting. I have a checkup in Fourth over lunch break—you can visit Ukitake-taichou while we're there. And you are going to a formal gathering at your estate this afternoon," she said.

Shunsui groaned. "I thought you said we didn't have to talk about my family without sake! When was _that_ scheduled?"

"Well over two months ago, Shunsui, and I've been reminding you for weeks," she said.

"Can't I skip it?" he pleaded, trying the puppy-dog eyes on her.

Nanao met his eyes firmly and shook her head. "No, you can't. You have to accept the oaths of the clan members who have come of age this last year."

"Can't they do it by mail or something?" he complained. The oath-taking ceremony was dead boring, and it primarily served as an occasion for his family to berate him for his choice of spouses, suggest possible alternatives, ask for favors, and gossip viciously behind each others' backs. They didn't even have all that much sake served.

"No, they can't," she said. "It's traditional. It's supposed to be a chance for you to meet your subordinates in person, after all."

He sighed. As always, his Nanao-chan was right. "Yare, yare...I suppose so. Are you coming with me?"

"No, sir. It's a long walk, and I can't flash step very easily at the moment. Besides, I was...politely encouraged not to come," she said.

Shunsui clenched his teeth angrily. _Honestly, when will they give up?_ he wondered. _Never, _he admitted to himself.

"Anyway," Nanao said teasingly, perhaps noticing his anger, "if you need to get away, you can always say that your wife wasn't feeling well and you want to get home to her."

He nodded and sighed, letting go of her and stretching luxuriously. "I suppose we'd better start the day, then."

"Mm," Nanao agreed, slipping out of the bed, straightening her uniform, and putting her glasses on. Shunsui got dressed as well, smiling at her. _Gods_, but she was beautiful. And smart, and kind, and really, he didn't deserve her at all. But she loved him anyway. As he finished putting his hair back, she waited for him by the door.

With an impish grin, Shunsui scooped her up and started carrying her to the office in flash-step. "Shunsui!" she protested irritably, "I am _pregnant_, not _crippled_!"

"I know, but we'll get to the office so much faster this way, Nanao-chan!" he said gaily.

"And with twice as much spectacle," Nanao groused. "Besides, since when are you eager to get to the office?"

"Since it allows me to carry my lovely Nanao-chan, of course," he said, grinning down at her. "Although we could slow down if you're enjoying the view."

She whacked him with her fan instead of answering. "Ow..." he complained. "Nanao-chan is being mean to me!"

"Serves you right. Now put me down," she insisted.

"Of course, if you insist," he said, depositing her neatly on the doorstep of Eighth's headquarters.

"Hmph," Nanao said, unlocking the door.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully for the most part. Ukitake was doing better and could be released that afternoon. Unohana said the baby was developing fine, and that she was already showing hints of spiritual pressure. Then, there was paperwork during the early afternoon. Shunsui was rarely so reluctant to leave the office.

"Do I really have to go?" he said as Nanao reminded him that it was time to get dressed.

"Yes, you do," she said, trying to glare, though the effect was kind of ruined by the smile playing around the corners of her mouth. "You can always wear that idiotic pink haori over your formal clothes. That'll give them a good shock."

Shunsui laughed. "You have a wicked sense of humor, Nanao-chan. I must be rubbing off on you," he said. "Although it's not idiotic. It's classy."

"You've learned to wake up the second time I call you in the morning. I must be rubbing off on you," she teased back. "And it is hideous, garish, and in horribly bad taste."

"Well, who wouldn't wake up with such a lovely person to wake up to?" he asked, dropping the point about his pink robe. After all, it was a long-standing joke between them.

"You're hopeless, Shunsui," Nanao laughed.

"Yes, I am," he said, crossing the office and tucking her in his arms. "Hopelessly in love."

She sighed, and he felt some of the tension in her shoulders and back ease out. "I love you, too," she said softly. "Come back safe."

"I'll see you soon," he said, smiling.

After he had dressed (he did indeed put on his pink haori over his more conservative dark blue kimono and his captain's haori), he headed for the gates of Seireitei and then towards his family's estate. The Kyouraku estate—he disliked thinking of it as 'his'—had been in his family for well over three thousand years, and while it had been through several renovations, it still somehow always managed to maintain that sense of brooding ostentation he so loathed as a child. Steeling himself and plastering a false smile onto his face, he walked inside.

Almost immediately, he was accosted by several dour elders. "Do you mean to insult your family, Kyouraku-dono?"

"Why, not at all," Shunsui said, letting the irony leak through into his tone. "Why would you say such a thing?"

"You mock us by your flippancy in your attire," said another.

"Kyouraku-dono excels at that," someone said. The crowd parted, bowing respectfully, as Shunsui stiffened slightly. Nonetheless, he smiled mildly and said, "Yuzuki-chan. Reporting as ordered."

He heard the murmuring of the clan elders, irritated by his mode of address. "I remember her from when she was just a little girl, after all. She'll always be Yuzuki-chan to me," he said, loudly enough for everyone to hear. Kyouraku Yuzuki was the granddaughter of Shunsui's younger sister. She was the oldest member of the clan besides Shunsui himself, and she was one of the most powerful members of the clan. Which was why he had to remind them that _he _was still the head of the clan. _More's the pity. I hate this game_, he thought irritably.

"As you say," she said mildly, though he could see the irritation in her eyes. "You're here to do your duty, I take it?"

"Yes, I am. Can we get started? I'd like to get back to my wife," he said.

Yuzuki's mouth twisted as if she were tasting something she didn't like, but she simply said. "Yes, we can. Let's go in."

It was, as Shunsui expected, extremely boring. The clan members who had come of age came forward, swore an oath, and received a sword—symbolic and merely decorative, rather than an actual, useful sword. He was primarily an accessory to the proceedings, rather than a participant. The _real_ business always got done at the party afterwards, which was primarily an excuse for clan members to try to bribe, threaten, or plead him into doing what they wanted.

As he usually did when his mind was wandering, Shunsui reached out for Nanao's reiatsu, far away, but calm and reassuring. She was probably still at the office, even though it was getting on six o'clock—his eyes widened suddenly. He felt her reiatsu blink out suddenly as if it was blocked. Something was wrong. Something was _really_ wrong. She never blocked him out from completely feeling her reiatsu, even if she was upset...

Shunsui bolted to his feet mid-oath, ignoring the startled looks of the nobles, and started to run to the door. "What do you think you're doing?" Yuzuki demanded as she cut him off at the entrance.

"I'm leaving," he said bluntly. "Something's wrong. Get out of my way."

"Don't be absurd," she said. "Go back in and sit down."

"_Get out of my way_," he said, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Or I _will_ go through you. I'm not in the mood for your games!"

"Fine," she said, standing to the side.

Shunsui didn't even spare her a glance as he ran towards the Seireitei, towards Nanao. Why was the estate so far outside its gates, anyway? He ran past houses, over shop rooftops, taking the biggest flash-steps he could. When he was in sight of Seireitei, he felt her reiatsu pop back into being, but it was weak, as if she was badly injured. _Shit, shit, shit!_ he thought, putting on another burst of speed he didn't know he had.

He raced up to the door, barely pausing to allow the gate guard to raise it so he could go through, then through the streets. He could feel her getting weaker. He nearly flew over the roofs of Seireitei, darting over the streets until he could see Eighth's headquarters. There was a crowd outside... "Let me through!" he shouted desperately.

Nanao was lying on the floor, covered in blood. There were two others sprawled nearby, but he ignored them and dropped to his knees by his wife's side. She had a knife protruding from her chest, blood hemorrhaging out with every heartbeat. An Eighth Division member was trying to help with some basic healing Kido, but Shunsui could see it wouldn't be enough. "Did anyone call Fourth Division?" he shouted, nearly panicked as he pressed his hand over the deepest wound to staunch the blood flow.

"Yes, sir," someone said. "Unohana-taichou is en route."

"Shun...sui?" Nanao whispered.

"I'm here, sweetheart," he said, taking her hand with his free one. "Hold on, okay? Just hold on. Unohana is coming. She'll get you fixed up."

"Shunsui...the baby..." said Nanao.

"Hana-chan will be all right," he promised. "Just stay with me."

Nanao nodded, her grip on his hand scarily weak. _Hurry,_ he begged Unohana silently. As if in answer to his plea, Unohana landed on Minazuki outside, hurried in, and knelt by Nanao's side, beginning to heal her. Her eyes narrowed. "Kyouraku-san, please bring the other dagger, the one sitting by that person's leg. And don't touch the blade with your naked skin."

He was too scared to think about who the knife belonged to, or why Unohana told him not to touch the blade; he just obeyed without asking a thing. He'd never seen the healer captain so focused... Seconds might have passed, or it might have been minutes or hours. But finally, she looked up and said, "I will need to take her to Fourth Division." Shunsui nodded mutely, helpless to do anything but watch as Unohana carefully placed Nanao in Minazuki's mouth, took the knife, and flew towards Fourth. He stood stock-still for a moment, then flash-stepped away, to the emergency care center, sinking down in a waiting room and putting his head in his hands.

_Someone had tried to kill Nanao_.

_Someone had tried to _kill _Nanao._

His mind slowly started working again, and once it started, he couldn't seem to prevent it from racing around, unable to think of anything by the fact that Nanao was lying there, in the hospital, because _someone had tried to murder her_.

"Kyouraku! What happened?" Ukitake burst in and ran to his side, sitting next to Shunsui.

"Someone tried to kill her," Shunsui muttered.

"Someone?" Ukitake said. "As in, not a hollow?"

"No," Shunsui said hollowly. "Two of them got left behind. And their knives, too." His mind was still reeling...someone had tried to kill her.

"Shouldn't you get changed, Kyouraku?" Ukitake asked softly after a few minutes.

Kyouraku was surprised to realize that his clothes and hands were stained with Nanao's blood. "Oh," he said. "I suppose so." But he didn't make any move to do so.

Ukitake sighed and helped him stand up, took him to another room, handed him some clothes, and told him to change. Kyouraku obeyed, but he couldn't possibly have said what he changed into. He came back out and sat down to wait. Why wasn't there a clock in the waiting room? Nanao had been in there for a long time, hadn't she? Was she all right? He couldn't tell all that much about her condition amidst the healers' healing fields...

His worrying was interrupted by Matsumoto Rangiku bursting inside, looking angry and disheveled. "Who the hell hurt Nanao-san?" she demanded furiously.

"We don't know yet," Ukitake said smoothly, sparing Shunsui from having to answer. "Unohana-taichou is treating her now. I'm sure we'll know more when she's finished."

"Whoever they are, if they're smart, they're long gone. Cuz they wouldn't like what'll happen to them if I catch them," Rangiku said dangerously.

Shunsui knew, distantly, that he should be angry, and that he would be angry later. But right now, he was too consumed with worrying about his wife and daughter to feel anything else. Vaguely, he noticed Rangiku sitting down next to him and handing him a flask. He looked at it blankly for a moment before his brain processed that it was sake and he took a deep drink. Damn, his hands were shaking. He could barely bring the bottle to his lips without spilling it.

_What's taking so long? I've _seen_ Unohana heal more severe injuries_, he thought. Back during the Winter War, she'd been able to heal Sarugaki Hiyori after she'd been cut in half, although Hiyori was still left paralyzed from the waist down. Surely, the healer could patch up Nanao, too. _Please, don't let her die. Please let her be all right. Please..._

It must have been hours since Unohana took her in, Shunsui thought. Rangiku had dozed off, leaning on his shoulder. Ukitake was still awake, but was reading quietly, understanding that Shunsui couldn't talk, not right now. He wanted to _do_ something, it was driving him crazy. But there was nothing he could do except wait. Wait and hope. Suddenly, Unohana opened the door, a slight hint of worry and sadness in her eyes behind her usual unflappable expression.

Shunsui jumped to his feet, ignoring Rangiku's noise of protest as her pillow moved out from under her. "How is she?" he asked. "Is she all right?"

Unohana met his eyes, her eyes full of compassion and gentleness. He'd seen that expression before, and he knew what it meant. He shook his head mutely. Nanao _had_ to be all right. "I'm sorry, Kyouraku-san. She is dying."

"No," he said. "No, she wasn't hurt that badly. You can heal her..."

"The daggers were poisoned, Kyouraku-san, with a poison for which there is no antidote," she said softly. "I was only barely able to save your daughter as it was, but I'm afraid Nanao-san will not last the night."

"_Who_?" he asked, in a half-strangled voice.

"I do not know, but we will do our best to find out. For now," she put her hand on his shoulder, "you should say good-bye. Your daughter is stable, and she wasn't all that premature. She's with Nanao-san now." She sighed quietly. "I am truly sorry, Kyouraku-san," she said.

Shunsui knew he should say _something_ to the healer captain, but he couldn't think of what. Instead, he hurried inside to see Nanao. A nurse was holding their daughter...Hana...and Nanao was lying in the bed, looking at her. As Shunsui came in, she shifted slightly to look at him.

She couldn't speak. There was some kind of machine connected to a mask over her face, and it looked like it was connected to a tube down her throat. She was ash pale and sweaty. Shunsui could see she was in pain, but she did her best to smile, if only with her eyes. He crossed the room, not sure what to say. Nanao's eyes flicked from him to the baby, and Shunsui glanced at their daughter. She had curly brown hair and she was drinking a bottle, but she had a rather intense gaze. "She's beautiful, Nanao-chan. Just like you," he said softly.

Her eyes met his again, a silent request. He nodded and slipped carefully into the bed next to her, avoiding the IVs and machines, putting his arms around her. "I love you, Nanao," he said, his voice raw and rough. "I love you...please. I can't lose you. I know you're strong. You've done lots of things no one thought you could! Please...please." Tears were flowing down his face, and he thought he'd choke past the lump in his throat.

Nanao slowly moved her hand to his, taking it and squeezing gently. Her eyes were filled with so much love, and a quiet apology. Shunsui shook his head. "It's not your fault, Nanao-chan. I should have been there. I should have protected you." She gave him a harder look that time, her unmistakable 'Don't be an idiot' look. He laughed softly through his tears. "I should have known better than to try to win an argument, Nanao-chan...even if you can't talk, you still always win them."

Her eyes smiled a bit at him before they rolled back and she started going into convulsions. "Nanao? Nanao!" Shunsui shouted, trying to prevent her from pulling out any of the IVs. A few healers came in and did _something_, but he didn't know what. He could feel his wife's reiatsu faltering, and he desperately summoned his own, trying to push it into her...

Suddenly, everything was black.

"Nanao?" he called.

"I'm here, Shunsui," she said, walking towards him.

He didn't think, just bounded across the distance, and hugged her...or tried to. His hands went right through her. "Nanao?" he said, confused.

"You didn't _really_ think I was going to let you go and get yourself killed doing something stupid, did you?" she asked, fixing her glasses.

He stared at her uncomprehendingly.

"Shunsui, our reiatsu connected when you pulled that stunt. This is...the world between our inner landscapes, I guess." She sighed, and continued, "Just as well, I suppose. Now I can say good-bye properly..._Don't _summon your reiatsu again, idiot!" He stopped mid-thought. "Honestly, do you think Unohana didn't try it? You could use up all your reiatsu, I'd still be poisoned, you'd be dead, and then our daughter would be orphaned."

He had to admit she had a point.

She slumped softly and walked to him. "I don't want to go," she said quietly. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Nanao," he said. "So, so much."

"Take care of Hana-chan. Don't let her wrap you _too_ much around her little finger. And tell her how much I love her, all right?" she said.

"Always, Nanao-chan," he promised.

She reached up and touched his cheek, though it only felt like a feathery touch of reiatsu on his skin. "I had a good life, Shunsui. Thank you," she said.

He knew he was weeping again, but he nodded. "I was the one who was fortunate to have you with me, Nanao."

"I love you," she whispered. And then he felt her reiatsu fade. He reached out for her, trying to grab her and hold on... "Nanao!" he shouted, "_Nanao!_" But then she was gone, and he was back in the Fourth Division, holding his wife's body as the last traces of her reiatsu vanished.

**AN**: Wow, that was _way_ longer than I expected. This fic emerged in response to a couple of things. First of all, a friend's comment that single fathers in anime and manga tend to be some of the best parents. And second, my headcanon about the Kyouraku clan. This is also my first time writing primarily from Shun's POV, so constructive criticism is welcome!


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